Download and read online The Sh t No One Tells You in PDF and EPUB A humorous, realistic, and supportive guide to the first 52 weeks with a baby, The Sh!t No One Tells You is the first book in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, followed by The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers and The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2. There comes a time in every new mother’s life when she finds herself staring at her screaming, smelly “bundle of joy” and wishing someone had told her that her house would reek of vomit, or that she shouldn’t buy the cute onesies with a thousand impossible buttons, or that she might cry more than the baby. Best-selling author Dawn Dais, mother of two tiny terrors, is convinced that there is a reason for this lack of preparedness. She believes that a vast conspiracy exists to hide the horrific truth about parenting from doe-eyed expectant mothers who might otherwise abandon their babies in hospitals and run for it. Eschewing the adorableness that oozes out of other parenting books, Dais offers real advice from real moms—along with hilarious anecdotes, clever tips, and the genuine encouragement every mom needs in order to survive the first year of parenthood. The Sh!t No One Tells You is a must-have companion for every new mother’s sleepless nights and poop-filled days.
Download and read online The Sh t No One Tells You About Baby 2 in PDF and EPUB The third book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series covers all a parent needs to know once the reality of having two children settles in. Around the time your first baby turns a year old your brain will turn on you. For reasons that are still not understood by science, the sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones you barely survived with your first baby fade from memory and will be replaced with idyllic images of your growing child. This is when your brain, having officially lost all regard for your well-being, begins to fantasize about a second baby. And for the first time since becoming a parent these thoughts don't make you break out in hives. Before you know it, you are dressing your first child in "I'm Going to be a Big Sister!" T-shirts and catalog-shopping for bunk beds. This will be fantastic! But then that familiar morning sickness kicks in. And your adorable 18-month-old transforms into a two-year-old terror. That's when those hives start to return. With Dawn Dais's trademark witty banter, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Baby #2 includes chapters such as "You Have Officially Lost Control of the Situation," "Siblings Aren't Nearly as Adorable as You Imagined," "You'll Have a Favorite," and "Having Kids Looks a Lot Easier on TV."
Download and read online The Sh t No One Tells You About Toddlers in PDF and EPUB They’re getting bigger. And you’re not getting any more sleep. Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is – again – offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge. Chapters include: You Suck at This. It’s not just your imagination. Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult. Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch. Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor. Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick. This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones. Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices. Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: “Why didn’t anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?”
Download and read online Your Baby in Pictures in PDF and EPUB Capture the story of your baby’s first year! The first twelve months of your child’s life are full of precious, fleeting moments, from sleepy newborn yawns to first smiles and wobbly first steps. Why entrust your memories to hastily taken snapshots—or worse yet, none at all? Let professional photographer (and mom) Me Ra Koh help you capture the moments with 40 beautiful “photo recipes” anyone can do, with any camera. Telling your baby’s story in pictures has never been easier! From the Trade Paperback edition.
Download and read online Dude You re Gonna Be a Dad in PDF and EPUB There are approximately 3,712 ways for a guy to look stupid during pregnancy - this book's here to help you avoid all(most) of them. And here's your first hint: Focus on what you can be doing for her rather than what's happening to her. She's pregnant. She knows that. You know that. And her 152 baby books tell her exactly what she can expect. Your job is to learn what you can do between the stick turning blue and the drive to the delivery room to make the next nine months go as smoothly as possible. That's where John Pfeiffer steps in. Like any good coach, he's been through it. He's dealt with the morning sickness and doctor visits, painting the baby's nursery and packing the overnight bag, choosing a name, hospital, and the color of the car-seat cover. All the while he remained positive and responsive - there with a "You're beautiful" when necessary - but assertive during the decision-making process (he didn't want to wind up with a kid named Percy). And now it's your turn. She might be having the baby, but you have plenty of responsibilities.
Download and read online Figuring Shit Out in PDF and EPUB "Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.
Download and read online How to Have a Baby and Not Lose Your Shit in PDF and EPUB So you're having a baby! Congratulations! Have you started panicking yet? "How to Have a Baby and Not Lose your Shit" is for women who want to start a family but are not sure quite how 'into' babies they are. Women who have no intention of ever making their own Play-Doh (yes, that's a thing). Women who think that babies are a teeny, weeny bit boring. Appealing to new and expectant mums (as well as existing mothers who will identify with many of the experiences!) this is not a book about surviving parenting: having a baby is not an ordeal, it's a brilliant life-affirming experience. This book is about enjoying parenting but acknowledging its challenges, about how you can love your children to the moon and back but still not like having fingers that smell of poo. If you want to know how looking after a toddler is basically just like that time your mate got dumped and went on a six-month bender, or why holding a baby at a wedding and immediately wanting to swap it for a glass of champagne doesn't mean you're not ready for motherhood (it just means there is champagne) - this is the book for you. It answers the real questions modern women have about parenting. Can I wipe bottoms and still kick-ass? What if all the other mums are really, really boring? Is it okay to Google the answers to everything? Written by a mum of two who thinks her children are wonderful but wishes they could be wonderful in a quieter, tidier, less annoying way, this book is a funny, insightful, and honest account of being at home with babies and small children and all the wondrous things that entails: like carrying a pot of dead bees in your handbag and trying to source ice cubes that aren't 'too cold'. It won't make your baby sleep through the night, or cure colic, but it will make you laugh when you've been up all night... which is the next best thing. About the Author In her career as a TV Producer working in magic & comedy, Kirsty Smith introduced Russell Brand to an erotic lady wrestler, locked two presenters in a cage with 60 chickens for a week, and was made to magically appear dressed as a Morris Dancer from a giant pair of underpants. Now at home with two small children, life is almost exactly the same but even funnier and with added rice cakes. Kirsty blogs as Eeh Bah Mum.
Download and read online The One Shot Library Instruction Survival Guide in PDF and EPUB Though many librarians want to be excellent teachers, they encounter significant barriers to their success, and formal preparation for teaching is usually not offered in graduate programs.To help your students become information literate, you must learn to turn everyday challenges into instruction that is meaningful and relevant for your students.
Download and read online Furious George in PDF and EPUB The most outspoken and combative coach in NBA history—and one of the most successful, amassing more than 1,175 victories, the sixth best winning record ever—reflects on his life, his career, and his battles on and off the basketball court in this no-holds-barred memoir A man of deep passion and intensity, George Karl earned his bad boy reputation while playing at the University of North Carolina, a rap that continued through the five years he spent with the San Antonio Spurs—and long after he stopped playing. Karl’s beery nights, fistfights, and barking followed him into a thirty-five-year coaching career. In a game defined by big stakes and bigger egos, rabid fans and an unforgiving media, Karl was hired and fired a dozen times. After leading a team beset by injuries and with no superstar to its best season of all time—an achievement that earned Karl the title NBA Coach of the Year—he was dumped by the Denver Nuggets in 2013. Less than a year and a half later, Karl was at the helm of the Sacramento Kings, snarling and bellowing on the sidelines before being cut loose in May 2016. Intense, obstinate, and loud, Karl has never backed down from a confrontation, whether with management, officials, or star players, as NBA legends from Allan Iverson to Gary Payton to Carmelo Anthony to Demarcus Cousins can attest. Telling his story, Karl holds nothing back as he speaks out about the game that has defined his life, including the greed, selfishness, and ass-covering he believes are characteristic of the modern NBA player, and the rampant corruption that leads all the way to the office of the NBA commissioner, David Stern. Karl also reveals how he’s learned to deal with the personalities, the pressure, and the setbacks with a resilience he acquired from his three bouts with cancer. Raw, hard-hitting, and brutally honest, Furious George is as thrilling, unpredictable, and entertaining as the game that has defined Karl’s life.
Download and read online That Book about Harvard in PDF and EPUB "Eric Kester has written the kind of book I wish I had the courage and insight to write. His illuminations on everything from Larry Summers to the Harvard football team to cheating, tourists, and competitiveness are dead–on. His writing has also provided me with some of the best laugh–out–loud moments I've had in recent years. God knows Harvard could use some humor!" —PETER OLSON, FORMER CEO OF RANDOM HOUSE, HARVARD GRADUATE, AND CURRENT HARVARD PROFESSOR One of the most thrilling and terrifying days of your life is the first day of college, when you step onto campus filled with the excitement of all the possibilities ahead—and panic about if you'll make it and how you'll fit in. Now imagine that same feeling, but you're in the middle of the lawn at the world's most prestigious university. In your underwear. Thus begins one of the craziest years ever at Harvard, in which Eric Kester finds himself in a cheating scheme, trying to join a prestigious Finals Club, and falling for a stunning type-A brunette...who happened to be standing there in shock that first day when he made his red-faced stroll across the Harvard Yard. That Book about Harvard is the hilarious and heartwarming story of trying to find your place in a new world, the unending quest to fit in, and how the moments that change your life often happen in the most unexpected ways. Eric Kester graduated from Harvard in 2008, where he wrote a popular column for the undergraduate newspaper, the Crimson. Now a featured writer for CollegeHumor.com, Eric has also contributed to the Boston Globe, someEcards.com, and Dorkly.com.
Download and read online The New Dad s Survival Guide in PDF and EPUB FATHERHOOD DEMYSTIFIED! Finally-a manual for new dads that deciphers the immensely confusing world of fatherhood and gives crucial tips and advice from a man's point of view. No psychobabble, no warm fuzzies-just a hilarious (and surprisingly practical) military-style guide to surviving and thriving through even the queasiest moments of pregnancy, birth, and babyhood. Seasoned father and master infant-tamer Scott Mactavish breaks the Baby Code down and lays it out in straight-up guyspeak. The New Dad's Survival Guide includes declassified information on such topics as: * Cutting the Cord: The Moment of Truth * Feeding and Cleaning the NFU (New Family Unit) * Surviving Sleep Deprivation * Relieving Stress Without Booze * The Great Boob Irony * Pee, Poo, Hurl, and Snot: Getting Used to the Bodily Functions * Critical Survival Tips Never Before Revealed * Sex: Let the Games Begin Again...Finally * Dozens of Essential Terms Defined, Including Binky, Onesie, Diaper Genie, Passy, and Sippy Cup GRAB YOUR BOOTS AND STRAP ON YOUR HELMET! THE BABIES ARE COMING!
Download and read online The His Hers Guide to Surviving the First Year of Marriage in PDF and EPUB Offers advice to newly married couples on how to cope with the large and small disagreements that arise during the first year of marriage
Download and read online The Science of Mom in PDF and EPUB It seems like every time a new mother turns on her computer, radio, or television, she is greeted with news of yet another scientific study about infancy. Ignoring good information isn’t the right course, but just how does one tell the difference between solid studies, preliminary results, and snake oil? In this friendly guide through the science of infancy, Science of Mom blogger and PhD scientist Alice Callahan explains how non-scientist mothers can learn the difference between hype and evidence. Readers of Alice’s blog have come to trust her balanced approach, which explains the science that lies behind headlines. The Science of Mom is a fascinating, eye-opening, and extremely informative exploration of the topics that generate discussion and debate in the media and among parents. From breastfeeding to vaccines to sleep, Alice’s advice will help you make smart choices so that you can relax and enjoy your baby.
Download and read online Reasons to Stay Alive in PDF and EPUB THE NUMBER ONE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FEEL TRULY ALIVE? Aged 24, Matt Haig's world caved in. He could see no way to go on living. This is the true story of how he came through crisis, triumphed over an illness that almost destroyed him and learned to live again. A moving, funny and joyous exploration of how to live better, love better and feel more alive, Reasons to Stay Alive is more than a memoir. It is a book about making the most of your time on earth. "I wrote this book because the oldest clichés remain the truest. Time heals. The bottom of the valley never provides the clearest view. The tunnel does have light at the end of it, even if we haven't been able to see it . . . Words, just sometimes, really can set you free."
Download and read online How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids in PDF and EPUB ‘Clever, honest and hilarious . . . her book should become a baby shower classic.’ Publishers Weekly How did I become the ‘expert’ at changing a nappy? Jancee Dunn wondered. This, combined with a lack of sleep, a suddenly unfair division of household chores and her husband’s new found passion for very long bike rides, meant that Jancee found it hard to look at her well-meaning, clever, funny husband playing with his i-phone without feeling a white-hot rage. Like many expectant parents, they’d spent weeks researching the safest car seat but little time thinking about the titanic impact the baby would have on their marriage — and the way their marriage would affect their child. Tired of having the same fights over and over, Dunn consults the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the renowned sex and couples' therapists, canvasses friends and parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an ‘explosive situation’. No one said it would be easy, but could it be that the person who got you into this position is the ally you’d forgotten you had? Funny, honest and actually helpful, this book can’t do the washing but it might just save your marriage.